Happy Ending News

Dec 22, 2011

Hi Everyone,

The Kings Court party was the best and it was a lot of fun
for the girls watching the male stripper. We all agree that
we should do it again in Feb sometime. Watch this space!

All the best for Christmas: We will be closed from 5pm on
Christmas and New Years Eves and All day on Christmas
and New Year Days.
So does anyone know:
Why are Christmas colours red and green?

Stanley:
Julia Gillard goes to a primary school to talk to the kids
to get a little PR. After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and she asks him his name.
"Stanley," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley ?"
"I have 2 questions: Why did you bring in a carbon tax
when Australians didn’t vote for it? And weren’t you a
communist at university?
Just then, the bell rings for recess. Julia informs the kiddies
that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Julia says, "OK, where were we? Oh,
that 's right: question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. Julia points him out and
asks him his name. "Steve," he responds.
"And what is your question, Steve?"
Actually, I have 4 questions: Why did you bring in a carbon
tax when Australians didn’t vote for it? And weren’t you a
communist at university? Third, why did the recess bell go
off 20 minutes early? And fourth, what the f*ck happened
to Stanley?"
(this has been heavily abridged from the original)

Just to even it up a bit here is a John Howard joke: A man, on
his way home from work, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought
to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even
moving." He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the
lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer what's the
hold up?" The officer replies, "John Howard is just so depressed about his
personal life - the thought of moving with Janette back to Lane Cove and the
state of disruption amongst his natives that he stopped his motorcade in the
middle of the freeway and he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and
set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the
money to pay for the new house renovations. We're taking up a collection
for him." "Oh really? How much have you got so far?" "About three
hundred litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

After a lifetime of training people I just received this in an email:
"Write things down! Don't rely on your memory" says John.
Look up this blog:
http://thinksimplenow.com/productivity/how-to-capture-ideas/

Wild:
An old man on a bus stop stares at a teenager with
spiked hair in all different bright colors; green, red,
orange, and blue.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically
asks: "What's the matter old man, never done
anything wild in your life?"
"Well, I got stoned once and had sex with a peacock.
I was wondering if you was my son?”

Big blunder by goal keeper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lhl_Kv6GLsM&NR=1&feature=endscreen

How would you like to be famous for almost getting it right?
Ronaldinho double kick:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc4HM_TOHbE&feature=related

Trouble and Strife:
HARD-DISK Woman: Remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER.
WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do anything right, but
you can't live without her.
EXCEL Woman: She can do a lot of things but you mostly use her only for
your basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she
is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun.
INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.
SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you
need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman: Has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
VIRUS Woman: Also known as “WIFE”; She installs herself, and starts gobbling
up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing.
If you don't try to uninstall her you will still have nothing.

Guy dialled a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep... If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."

Guy goes to the pub with his girlfriend. Locals were shouting
"paedophile!" and other names. His girlfriend is 21 and
he is 50. It completely spoiled their 10th anniversary.

Guy says, “The thing I love most about this hot weather is the short
skirts and low cut tops... although, they do make me look a bit gay.”

Guy says, “My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in
his class give him a hand-job. I said, ‘Son, that's 3 schools this year!
You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether.’”

Guy said, “Some bastard's just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers
off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers but she
wants the 12 clothes pegs back.”

Trouble and Strife:
Guys wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, he was
soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. He converted to
Islam, and they're stoning her in the morning!

Trouble and Strife:
Guys wife suggested he get one of those dick enlargers, so he did....
her name's Lucy and she's 21.

Blonde:
What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.

The Britain that is great:
Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain?
17% said yes; 11% said No;
72% said "I am not understanding the question please."

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

What is the difference between confident and confidential?
The dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, but that's confidential."

Italian Grandma's Advice!
A young Italian girl was going on a date.
Her Nonna said: “Sita here ana letame tella you about
this-a younga boy.
He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat,
but don't let him do dat.
He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likea
dat too, but don'ta let him do dat eeda.
But mosta important, he's agonna try ana lay on topa you, you
are agonna really likea dat, but don'ta let him do dat for sure.
Doing thata willa disgraza our family.”
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.
The next day she told grandma that her date went just like
she had predicted: “And Nonna, I didn't let him disgrace
our family as you said. When he tried to lay on top of me, I just
rolled him over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!”
Nonna fainted!!

Men of Letters:
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
Jack E. Leonard

The winner of the double massage this week is: PURPLE F3
Winners List
Wednesday, 30th November 2011 B-10 Blue
Wednesday, 07th December 2011 C-11 Purple
Wednesday, 14th December 2011 D-60 Blue
Wednesday, 21st December 2011 F-3 Purple

See all the winning results at: http://kingscourt.com.au/win.php
See past emails at: http://kingscourt.com.au/happy-ending-news

Kings Court – Busty List - These are genuine and real:
Busty and shapely: Megan, Amy, Crystal, Lisa, Alicia, Isabelle, Yuki – Japanese, Stephanie
Extra Busty and Shapely: Helena, Bianca (breastacular) Alana, Eve
Tiny Girls Extreme Busty: Josie, Melanie

The Kings Court Massage “Whole List” refreshed on Thursday 15.12.11
Asian ladies are presented in green !!!!
Alana, Attractive, Fun and English Very Very Busty and Friendly Last shift is the 23rd Dec !!
Alicia, mostly days, busty Aussie, likes to wear sexy themed outfits - Affectionate.!
Amber, blonde slim becoming less shy university student in her mid twenties
Amy, Busty and Beautiful Korean, Very young.
Bianca Lovely girl – very pretty and busty BREASTACULAR!!, exotic looks
Cara, Indonesian, slim shy pretty
Charlotte, Blonde Aussie NEW
Cleo, Thai, tall slim pretty
Crystal, Blonde Aussie few shifts only
Ellen, another sweet Japanese
Eve, Very Busty Brunette, bubbly NEW
Faith, Tall BLACK Marutian
Gina, young blonde German, bubbly personality
Helena, busty DD European redhead Away from 24.12.11 for two weeks
Isabelle, Busty DD personable brunette Aussie. Great fun in the spa !!!!
Jessica, Petite brunette Aussie NEW
Josie Busty pretty Asian. Petite yet busty. Very good masseuse. Away from the 30th Dec
Kelly, Slim dark Indonesian.
Kim, Slim attractive Asian. Quite Beautiful
Kylie, Pretty German incredibly beautiful eyes  Away from 21.12.11 for three weeks
Lee, Slim beautiful Korean who loves it here. Full of life!!
Lilly, Pretty slender American/Italian very sweet little thing. Holidays till 9th Dec
Lisa, Very busty Indian. This girl has a very nice personality and already very popular.
Mariko, Japanese very slim and tiny and happy NEW
Martina, Tall BLACK African – very tall and very black NEW
Megan, English, Statuesque with style and looks and a body to cry for. Mmmm... NEW
Melanie, Pretty, bubbly, cheeky and really great tits. Very popular! Restart on Friday!!!
Mya, Energetic and friendly and very attractive Asian Only Mondays now.
Nadia, Pretty Slovakian with good massage. Very popular!
Nina, Very white Indonesian busty smiling and happy Sat and Sun days NEW
Olivia, Slim English blonde.
Rosemarie, Slim Aussie blonde.
Roxy, Slim brunette American.
Sabrina Busty South American NEW
Sandy, Japanese sweet and petite, very nice girl
Samantha, Blonde Aussie tall and shy
Sasha Medium Aussie beautiful brown eyes Away from 17.12.11 to end January
Stacey Tall Aussie slim and popular
Valeska, “Snow White” She has very black hair and very white skin. A slim, sexy minx.
Vivian, Japanese very pretty and shapely
Yasmin German/Aussie brunette very pretty and very popular
Yuki, Busty and beautiful Japanese fairly good English ON HOLIDAY

Kings Court: The place where first time customers come to meet first time girls.

Remember: Everyone knows someone who should know about Kings Court.
Some girl who needs a harmless job or some boy who needs to start out on the right track.

Swearing:
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. You know
what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for
breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 4
year old agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks
the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Oh, shit mum, I guess I'll have
some Coco Pops" WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen
floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4
year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast,
young man?! "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fuckin' arse
it won't be Coco Pops."

Asians:
An Asian woman goes into a bank in Perth and begins exchanging her money.
After the transaction is complete she asks the teller,
"Why it change? Yestoday I get two hunat dollar fo my money,
today I only get a hunat eighty?"
The teller says very slowly, "Fluctuations."
The Asian woman says, "Fluc you Ozzies too!"

Reminds me of a story about the Queen inspecting an Asian factory for printed
circuit boards. Wishing to show some knowledge and some interest in the
technology she asks the little lady on the assembly line
“What do you use for flux?” “Plix!” is the quick reply.

Irish Technology:
At the turn of the century this was part of a report by an Irish company working
for the British, "Our staff have completed the 18 months of work on time and on
budget. We have gone through every line of code in every programme in every
system. We have analysed all databases, all data files, including backups and
historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y2K" date change mission,
and have now implemented all changes to all programmes and all data to
reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September,
October, November, December.
As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and
Saturdak.
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this "Y to
K" problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global
problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible"

A bit of Big John philosophy mixed with humour.
Try this riddle:
A Doctor and a son are involved in a car accident.
The Doctor dies at the scene and the son is rushed to hospital
where the attending Neurosurgeon says, “For ethical reasons
I cannot operate. This is my son.” Who is the Neurosurgeon?
The answer is at the bottom of this charming list of answers
by 2nd grade school children about their mothers:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me.
He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and
everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones.
Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you Your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my
guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year?
Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to
because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection.
She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she
has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between Moms and Dads?
1 Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect.
Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.
I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was
my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those
invisible eyes on the back of her head.

The answer:
You would most likely have said the Neurosurgeon
was the father or even a Lover, however if you were
a child you would have said the Mother.
Children live in a different world closer to their Mothers
influence and without gender bias.

Winston Churchill was a bit of a thinker and he said that the
education of a child begins at the birth of the grandmother.
The understanding that is required here is that women have
a stronger influence than we imagine on the behavior of men
as they are the early teachers. This explains why you will
often meet men who support the woman’s point of view.

Regards
Big John